For The Man In Black
A Dark Shadows Funny By Freesoul
January 16, 2004
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For The Man In Black My daddy left home when I was three And he didn't leave much to Carrie and me Just this big old house and a lifetime supply of booze. Now, I don't blame him cause he run and hid But the meanest thing that he ever did Was before he left, he went and named me "Tad." Well, he must o' thought that is quite a joke And it got a lot of laughs from a' lots of folk, But I never had to fight whole life through. Carrie might giggle but not when I said "Never mind the name. I got lots of bread," I tell ya, life's sure easy for a boy named "Tad." Well, I never grew up `cause Gerard was mean, And he killed Carrie and me when I was fourteen, I'd roam from hall to hall in sissy clothes. But I made a vow to the moon and stars That I'd come back to life when they invent cars And kill that man who gave me that awful name. Well, it was Collinwood in `70 And I possessed David suddenly, I thought I'd stop and wake Daphne up, too. In the playroom filled with sissy toys, Rejected by self-respecting boys, Sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me "Tad." Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad `cause in the afterlife, it's true and sad, We have no secrets, so I knew he did my mom. He was big and bent and gray and bold, And I looked at him and my blood ran cold And I said: "My name is 'Tad!' You are my dad! Now you're staying dead!!" Well, I couldn't finish that ritual He scared me silly, but the house was full, So he come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear. I wet my pants and begged him to stop, But he gave me a fever. That's my pop. And he smashed up the house and woke the dead He killed Daphne and Carrie and me and drove everyone nuts. I tell ya, I've fought tougher men But I really can't remember when, `cause I scratched like a girl and run like it was going out of style. I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss, He went for his gun and I bawled like a wuss, He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile. And he said: "Son, this world is rough And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough In which case you are hopeless and were all along. So I give ya that name and I said goodbye I knew you'd have to get tough or die And despite the name, you couldn't get along." He said: "Now you could have at least put up a fight But that takes courage. So say goodnight I'll kill you now, and I wouldn't blame me if I do. But ya ought to thank me, before you die, But you grovel without guts and I spit in ya eye Cause I'm the son-of-a-bitch that named you "Tad.'" I got all choked up and I tried to run And I called him my pa, but he just made fun, And I came away with a different point of view. And I think about him, now and then, Every time I cry and every time I whine, But I'll never have a son, to name him Bill or George or even wimpy Tad! I still have that name. |
| By Freesoul |